That is difficult. I know I am stalled. I am uncertain of what I am doing. I must re-write this paper no matter what. Whether I decide to give up on grad studies or not. I am not sure why I feel so conflicted about school. I think it was not seeing the kids so much this past term. I miss them. It can't be like that. I will have to find babysitting and work hard in the days and when the kids are busy.
He doesn't want to talk to me. I feel conflicted by that too. On the one hand, I ache to see and hear him. On the other, wounds are all so fresh I am not sure what would come of a conversation. I guess I am just looking for some confirmation that he hasn't just completely given up on me yet. And yet if he has, I need to hear it. It's just going to be very hard to keep going after that. I feel lost. I can't wait until the kids are home tomorrow.
- @#%^* my histrionics are PUNK ROCK *&%#$
- I'm just your typical divorcee, grad student, single mother of two who wants to A) gripe about shit B) make people read it C) magically lose weight and pin down prince charming while doing it. I'm hysterical and melodramatic -- and you know you like it!
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