Fire Opal

enough insecurity. enough gut-gnawing doubt.  enough excuses.  no shirking responsibility.  no defeat.  time to tap into raw running life blood -- prolific creativity endowed by mum, focused explosive power from dad.  gonna blast my way out of here and ignore the shrapnel.  fuck age, fuck status, fuck requirements.  build the heat, feed the fire that smoldered in the basement while adolescence, motherhood, wifedom and citizenry tacked on floor after floor of flimsy gyprock and cheap fiberglass insulation.  no more bogeymen, no more rabid black dogs to kick dead.  i am donning an invincible cloak, i am walking free.  i live on the mountain; trees are my shelter, the open sky my window on the world:  clean, cold air snaps in and out of my chest, muscles pump, thoughts ravage, up to the top, up, up.  only up from here.  only joy from here.  there is no backwards.  I gain leagues and fathoms.  sometimes i run, sometimes i crawl.  it makes no difference to me.  i am a fire opal refracting life - brilliant blues, yellows, reds from the compressed sediment of a former existence.